Over the past week or so, I have been sensing my depression has been lifting and the joy of the Lord I have waited so long for is about to burst through this cocoon that I have been in. I have been having these weird sensations running throughout my body and head. At times it feels like their is this electricity that is kindling throughout my head.
I’ve always heard the phrase that “Jesus lives in your heart”, but was not able to grasp that concept. Now it feels like there is this opening takening place in my heart. It feels like a fracture that slowy opens and closes. Like something is trying to poke their head out.
It’s hard to put into words, but I just have a sense that something amazing is about to happen in my life. The restoration that I have read so much about, heard about and believed I feel is upon me.
It’s awesome to look back more than two years ago when everything was seemingly going great, but praying to God there must be more to life than what I was experiencing. Little did I know that would send me into the deepest of depressions that resulted in a suicide attempt last year. It’s awesome to be able to accept that that was God’s plan for my life to bring me into His will for my life.
How would I be an effective minister if I didn’t understand the emotional pain that people go through? How would I be able to provide Godly counsel to people if I was ignorant of God’s ways? The answer is I wouldn’t be able to.
It’s been amazing how God has protected me and kept me safe while in the valley. I was let go from my job back in May of 2014. Now for those of you that know me, I always struggled with money. Even if it was spending $2 on a cup of coffee. Not knowing where my next dollar was going to come in was extremely stressful for me.
But you know what? I still have about the same amount of money in my bank account as I did in May of 2014. Not because of anything that I have done, but its because I now recognize that “My God will supply all of my needs, according to his riches and glory” For a person that worried about a $2 cup of coffee I can’t wait to give tithe (and then some) back to God. It’s just amazing.
As I prepare to start an internship with my local church in the next month, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you all for helping get to this point. You really are God’s angels. So thank you to Northstar Church, Good Shepard Church and Dr. Charles Stanley and his team at In Touch Ministries. Thank you to Christ Hospital (x2), Bethesda Hospital, Good Samaritan Hospital, Linder Center of Hope (x2) and the Kettering Health Network. Thank you to Skyland Trail in Atlanta, the people of Memphis and my family at First Baptist Atlanta. Thank you to all of my friends and family. Thank you to the people that walked out of my life because they would of been getting in God’s way. It means so much to me. Finally, thank you God for not letting me believe the lies of the world. Thank you not letting me believe that I had bipolar disorder, BPD, OCD, and I’m sure a few other ones :). Thank you for letting me only believe that I was only missing the love and joy that you can provide!
God has a plan everyone’s life. I pray you ask God to show you what it is and step back and let God go to work
I can’t wait to see what God does through me in my life!