Yesterday I was sitting at service where Charles Stanley preaches in Atlanta. Like before, he was looking directly at me while preaching. This title of his message was “Getting in God’s Way”. It was a powerful message of how sometimes with the best of intentions we get in the way of God doing an awesome work in someone.
For example, no parent wants to see their child suffer, but maybe there there is a purpose in the suffering. Maybe the suffering is bringing the child into God’s plan for their life. Maybe its the suffering and brokenness that God is after.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10 says, “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
You see, it is in the complete brokenness that God can use someone and become a vessel for God. It is ALWAYS done with love.
While Charles Stanley was preaching I was bursting into tears because this is the point of my recovery where God is breaking totally.
Then he looked directly at me said, “You know in my early preaching days I always wanted to fix everyone. It was until later that I recognized that wasn’t my job. God uses brokenness to bring people closer to Him and I don’t get in the way of that anymore.” What a powerful and moving moment that was for me. Not easy to hear, but the absolute truth!
Some of you have asked what is next for me. Well I don’t have the entire picture. In fact, I only have the next two days planned out. Tomorrow I will be meeting with someone that works at In Touch Ministries. Wednesday, I will being going for one of my last sessions of therapy through EMDR, which is the process of letting go of the trauma in my past and breaking me.
Where I am Thursday only God knows!