Thank You Everyone!

Over the past week or so, I have been sensing my depression has been lifting and the joy of the Lord I have waited so long for is about to burst through this cocoon that I have been in.  I have been having these weird sensations running throughout my body and head. At times it feels like their is this electricity that is kindling throughout my head.

I’ve always heard the phrase that “Jesus lives in your heart”, but was not able to grasp that concept. Now it feels like there is this opening takening place in my heart. It feels like a fracture that slowy opens and closes. Like something is trying to poke their head out.

It’s hard to put into words, but I just have a sense that something amazing is about to happen in my life. The restoration that I have read so much about, heard about and believed I feel is upon me.

It’s awesome to look back more than two years ago when everything was seemingly going great, but praying to God there must be more to life than what I was experiencing. Little did I know that would send me into the deepest of depressions that resulted in a suicide attempt last year. It’s awesome to be able to accept that that was God’s plan for my life to bring me into His will for my life.

How would I be an effective minister if I didn’t understand the emotional pain that people go through?  How would I be able to provide Godly counsel to people if I was ignorant of God’s ways?  The answer is I wouldn’t be able to.

It’s been amazing how God has protected me and kept me safe while in the valley. I was let go from my job back in May of 2014.  Now for those of you that know me, I always struggled with money. Even if it was spending $2 on a cup of coffee. Not knowing where my next dollar was going to come in was extremely stressful for me.

But you know what? I still have about the same amount of money in my bank account as I did in May of 2014.  Not because of anything that I have done, but its because I now recognize that “My God will supply all of my needs, according to his riches and glory” For a person that worried about a $2 cup of coffee I can’t wait to give tithe (and then some) back to God. It’s just amazing.

As I prepare to start an internship with my local church in the next month, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you all for helping get to this point. You really are God’s angels. So thank you to Northstar Church, Good Shepard Church and Dr. Charles Stanley and his team at In Touch Ministries. Thank you to Christ Hospital (x2), Bethesda Hospital, Good Samaritan Hospital, Linder Center of Hope (x2) and the Kettering Health Network. Thank you to Skyland Trail in Atlanta, the people of Memphis and my family at First Baptist Atlanta. Thank you to all of my friends and family.  Thank you to the people that walked out of my life because they would of been getting in God’s way.  It means so much to me. Finally, thank you God for not letting me believe the lies of the world. Thank you not letting me believe that I had bipolar disorder, BPD, OCD, and I’m sure a few other ones :). Thank you for letting me only believe that I was only missing the love and joy that you can provide!

God has a plan everyone’s life.  I pray you ask God to show you what it is and step back and let God go to work

I can’t wait to see what God does through me in my life!

God’s Plan For My Life

If God told you to sell everything you have, would you? Would you walk away from the woman/man of your dreams with no promise of being reunited? Would you trust that God would spare your life from a suicide attempt? Would you move to a different city without a plan? Would you listen to God no matter what the cost?

These are the questions that I had to answer at one point in my life. And in each step I had to walk in obedience and trust that God had a plan for my life.

And this weekend, I will be returning to the place where I first got a glimpse of God’s plan in my life.  It was at First Baptist Atlanta where Dr. Charles Stanley preaches. On February 1st, 2015 I went to FBA to hear him preach.  There I was sitting in the church that seats around 4,000 and I got the sense that Dr. Charles Stanley was looking directly at me.

Convicted that he was, I took out a piece of paper and thanked In Touch Ministries for being a great resource before and after my suicide attempt. After service,  it was Charles Stanley who came up to me and asked where I was from. I handed him the note and we chatted a bit.

The following week before Charles Stanley started to preach, he asked me to stand in front of the church and shared our encounter. It was a very humbling experience.

After service many people came up to wish me well, but one particular person stood out. Sitting directly to the left of me was the Executive Ambassador for In Touch Ministries.  Long story short, we went out to dinner that week and I couldn’t shake the feeling it was an interview of sorts. Since that day in February, I am convinced that I will be starting my new career at In Touch Ministries in Atlanta.

This weekend I return to FBA for a special weekend. You see I can’t shake the feeling that the Holy Spirit is going to fall upon me where it all started this Pentecost Sunday.  After all, it was at FBA where I got a small 5 second glimpse of the “peace that surpasses all understanding” back in February.

Holy Spirit I invite you into my life. I’m ready now.

In fact, In Touch just put up that video of Charles Stanley’s message from February 1st when I sensed Dr. Charles Stanley . looking at me. Here’s the video, I can be seen around the 19:20 mark. I’m wearing a red shirt 5 rows back:

http://intouch.org/watch/steps-to-gods-guidance/listening-to-god

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Breaking a Heart of Stone

Today on my way back to Memphis, I saw an exit for Hidden River Cave in Kentucky. Curious, I decided to pull off to check the place out.

When I got there, I quickly realized God was using this experience as a metaphor for my life.  You see this wasn’t just any old river.  This was a river that was found deep within a cave.  As I descended the nearly 200 steep steps towards the entrance of the cave, my eyes were gazing at the exposed rock from a sinkhole back in the 1800s. It made me realize that this is how my heart was.

It was layered with such a deep layer of limestone rock that seemingly nothing could penetrate.  As I walked down the steps, I sound of a running river became louder and louder. As I reached the bottom and looked up, I was amazed that this river was still flowing despite on the years of limestone that was built above it. You see the source of water came from deep within.

How often in life do we live like this?  We know God wants to be good to us, but we continue harden our hearts when we here His voice. Why do we do that? Are we simply afraid of allowing such close intimate relationship with God into our lives? For me, the answer was yes.  The key is to invite the Holy Spirit to break through any stone that is remaining in my heart.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, how grateful we are that we are covered in Your love and grace.  Your love and grace can break through any limestone we have built around our hearts. Lord Jesus, send the power of the Holy Spirit to penetrate our heart  and fill us with a source of living water within us.  Have it not lay deep underground so that no one can see it.  Have it flow like the Mississippi River and bring healing to everyone who encounters you. Blow through the caverns of of souls to overflow. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen.

Check the video around 8:25 mark for the steps that lead down to Hidden River

The Power of the Holy Spirit

The third member of the Holy Trinity is perhaps the least talked about.  Yet it has such an awesome impact on a believer’s life. So who is this mysterious Holy Spirit?

John 14:26 says, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

So its best way is to think of the Holy Spirit as a teacher.  The Holy Spirit is what enables a believer to carry out God’s purpose in their life.  This is why Paul would gladly boast about his weaknesses while in prison.

2 Corinthians 12:7-9 states, “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Paul would gladly boast about his weaknesses because he recognized where the source of power came from.  It came from the Holy Spirit.

I have started to do this in my own personal life. During my depression, I often complained about how the daily tasks always seemed so burdensome.  Just taking a shower, shaving, or eating became monumental tasks.  All of that complaining did not accomplish anything.  My new approach over the past few months is to boast about the daily tasks being so burdensome for me.  Slowly, but surely these tasks are getting easier.

We must come to a place where we recognize that the source of true power is not by good works or good religious rituals.  It is by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Prayer:  Lord, I pray that every reader that reads this message has a stirring down in their spirit.  Help them to draw closer to you in ways unimaginable.  It was you that said in Galatians 5:22-23 that “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Father, I pray that every reader is touched by this message and is encouraged to form personal relationship with your son Jesus Christ. In Jesus name. Amen.

Thank you so much for your cash and online donations to fund my Memphis stay. My seven day a week trauma resolution therapy starts tomorrow (6 weeks).  You can continue to contribute online at:

http://www.youcaring.com/other/fight-on-for-marc-kutylowski-/345691

Grace and Peace,

Marc Kutylowski